The movie, Crazy Rich Asians, is a film in which one can easily find key concepts dealing with interpersonal communication throughout the plotline and characters as the story develops. One person, if Crazy Rich Asians was in fact a reality and not only a fantasy, that could benefit from taking HCOM214 and learning their fair share of interpersonal communication skills is Eleanor Young, the mother of protagonist’s (Rachel Chu) boyfriend/love. Eleanor Young, one of the richest residents of Singapore, is a tough woman who puts her family first and believes that her way and her culture is the only right one.
When Nick, her son, introduces her to his girlfriend, a poor (in comparison to the Young family) Chinese-American Economics professor who was raised by a single mother named Rachel, she only sees the parts of Rachel that do not align with her views. This detail allows the viewers to understand that Eleanor has a misguided perception of others, but in this case especially, Rachel. She has an in-grouper/out-grouper mindset and literally says so in the movie with a phrase “kaki lang” which translates to “our kind of people”, something she constantly tells Rachel she is not. Viewers can also see the Horn Effect (which is viewing all communicated information as negative due to an already existing negative gestalt) from Eleanor which is implemented on Rachel. This is shown in the scene where Rachel and Eleanor officially meet for the first time and Eleanor comments on how American it is that Rachel is a self-made woman.
Eleanor’s listening style is also seen as aggressive towards Rachel in many scenes where as she actively listens to her, but only with the intent of gathering information in which she can use to attack her either in the moment or later on. This can be seen in the scene where Rachel is making dumplings with the Young family. Rachel comments on how lovely it is to see a family bonding together over something so simple, and Eleanor surgically destroys her by saying something along the lines of ‘we know what it means to be a family because that is what we value here in a good Chinese household. Americans are too busy being selfish and chasing their passions that they don’t understand how family works.’ She says this because Rachel told her about her single mother who raised her and who encouraged her to do what made her happy and become an game theory professor.
Both of these details about Eleanor’s interpersonal communication skills factor into the final: managing conflict and power. Eleanor approaches conflict through competition because she pursues her own goals (despite making well known she is family oriented) instead of considering others. You can see this competitiveness to her throughout the movie, but metaphorically manifested as well in the game of Mahjong played between her and Rachel. After Rachel states that Nick proposed and that she said no, Eleanor says, “Only a fool folds a winning hand,” to which Rachel replies with, “There was no winning you made sure of that,” and proceeds to give Eleanor the winning game piece instead of taking the victory for herself, as she did with the proposal from Nick.
If Eleanor learned how to be empathetic, how to listen without an aggressive approach, and took a more collaborative approach towards managing conflict, then the conflict of the movie could more easily be avoided, or would have had to focus on a different issue within the film.
HCOM214: Interpersonal Communication 